Couples therapy · 6 min read
Premarital counseling
The conversations worth having before the wedding — including the ones about sex.
Written and clinically reviewed by Vanessa Cushing, LPC, NCC, MS — AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, licensed in Virginia & Florida. The Cushing Counseling team covers Virginia, DC, Maryland & Florida.
The short answer
Premarital counseling is a short series of sessions for couples who are engaged or thinking about marriage. You talk through money, family, conflict, children, sex and expectations before they turn into problems, and learn how to disagree and repair well. You don't need to be struggling to benefit — most couples come because things are good and they want to keep it that way.
Book a free 15-minute consultation
Planning a wedding? A free 15-minute call is an easy first step.
What premarital counseling covers
Every couple is different, so sessions follow what matters to you. Most couples touch on some version of these:
- How you argue, and how you make up afterwards.
- Money: spending, saving, debt and who decides.
- Families of origin, in-laws, culture and faith.
- Children — whether, when and how you'd parent.
- Sex, desire and affection over decades, not just this year.
- Housework, careers, moves and how you divide the load.
- Trust, past relationships and the agreements you want to make.
Does premarital counseling work?
The best-known large study is a random household survey across four U.S. states (Stanley and colleagues, 2006). Couples who had premarital education reported higher satisfaction and commitment, less conflict, and lower odds of divorce — across income, race and education levels.
That is an association, not a guarantee. Couples who choose premarital work may differ in other ways. What it does give you is a shared language for hard conversations before you need it.
Why talk about sex now?
Sex is one of the topics couples most often skip in premarital work — and one of the most common reasons couples come to therapy years later. Our team includes certified sex therapists, so this part isn't awkward or rushed.
Talking now about how desire tends to change, what to do if your sex drives differ, and how each of you likes to initiate and decline makes later changes far less frightening.
Premarital counseling vs. couples therapy
If an old wound or a recurring fight shows up during premarital work, we can shift into couples therapy without starting over.
| Premarital counseling | Couples therapy | |
|---|---|---|
| Main goal | Prepare and prevent | Repair what's stuck |
| Typical length | A short, focused series | As long as the work needs |
| Starting point | Things are mostly good | Something hurts or keeps repeating |
Frequently asked questions
Do we need to have problems to come?
No. Many couples come when things feel good. That's often the easiest time to build habits that last.
Is your premarital counseling religious?
No, it is not faith-based, and couples whose faith matters to them are very welcome. If your church or officiant requires a specific program, check whether counseling with a licensed therapist meets that requirement.
Do you work with LGBTQ+ and non-traditional relationships?
Yes. Our care is LGBTQ+ affirming and inclusive of all relationship structures, including ethically non-monogamous couples.
Can we do it online?
Yes. Sessions happen by secure video, which suits busy couples planning a wedding. You each need to be located in a state where your clinician is licensed.
Who on your team would I see?
You don't need to pick. Book a free consultation and our intake team matches you with a clinician licensed where you live and who works with this concern.
How much does it cost?
Fees vary by clinician. See our Fees & FAQs page, or ask on your free consultation.
Keep reading
- Communication problems: is it time for couples therapy?
- The Gottman Method for couples
- Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples
- Desire discrepancy therapy
- Does scheduling sex work?
- How intimacy changes in long-term relationships
- Polyamory-affirming therapy
Also on this site
- Couples therapy — How couples work at Cushing Counseling.
- Meet the team — See who is taking new clients.
- Fees & FAQs — Session fees by clinician.
- Book a free consultation — Fifteen minutes, no pressure to continue.
Clinical resources this page draws on
- Stanley et al. (2006), Premarital education, marital quality, and marital stability — Journal of Family Psychology — Large random household survey. Shows an association, not proof that premarital work prevents divorce.
- The Gottman Institute — Research-based couples resources from Drs. John and Julie Gottman.
Next step
Not sure where to start? Take the free 6-question assessment, or book a 15-minute consultation.