Relationships · 5 min read
Polyamory-affirming therapy for open and non-monogamous relationships
A therapist who will help with your relationship — not question its structure.
Written and clinically reviewed by Vanessa Cushing, LPC, NCC, MS — AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, licensed in Virginia & Florida. The Cushing Counseling team covers Virginia, DC, Maryland & Florida.
The short answer
A polyamory-affirming therapist treats open and non-monogamous relationships as valid structures, not problems to fix. Therapy focuses on what you came for — jealousy, agreements, opening up, a hurt partner, or time and attention — without nudging you back to monogamy. Cushing Counseling sees individuals and couples in Virginia, Maryland, Washington, DC and Florida.
Book a free 15-minute consultation
Book a free 15-minute call to find the right therapist for your relationship.
What "affirming" actually means
Many people in open relationships have had a therapist treat their structure as the cause of every problem. Affirming care means the therapist knows the language and the common dynamics, and starts from the goals you bring.
It also means being honest. If an arrangement is causing harm, or one partner agreed to it under pressure, a good therapist will say so — the same way they would in a monogamous relationship.
What people come in for
- Deciding whether to open a relationship, and how
- Jealousy, insecurity and comparison
- Writing and revising agreements, and repairing after one is broken
- Balancing time, attention and priorities between partners
- Coming out as poly to family or friends
- Desire differences, sexual concerns, or kink within a poly relationship
Why a sex therapist?
Sexual concerns often sit at the centre of non-monogamy: mismatched desire, safer-sex agreements, a new relationship's energy, or sex in the original partnership fading. An AASECT-certified sex therapist is trained in both relationships and sexuality, so neither part gets left out.
How sessions work
You can come alone, with one partner, or — where it suits the work — with more than one partner. Sessions are by secure video across the states we serve.
Frequently asked questions
Will the therapist try to make us monogamous?
No. The goal is a relationship that works for the people in it, whatever its structure.
Can we come in before we open our relationship?
Yes. Many couples find it helpful to talk through motives, fears and agreements before anything changes.
Is jealousy a sign polyamory isn't for us?
Not by itself. Jealousy is common in every kind of relationship. Therapy helps you understand what it is pointing to and how to respond.
Do you see more than two partners together?
Ask on your free consultation call and we will tell you which therapist on the team is the best fit.
Can I do this therapy online?
Yes. Sex therapy is talk therapy, so it works well by secure video. The Cushing Counseling team sees clients in Virginia, Maryland, Washington, DC and Florida, and Dr. Elizabeth Wolfe sees clients online in 43 PSYPACT states.
Keep reading
- Couples therapy
- LGBTQ+ affirming therapy
- Kink-affirming therapy
- Desire discrepancy therapy — When one of you wants sex more than the other.
Also on this site
- Book a free consultation — Fifteen minutes, no pressure to continue.
- Sex therapist near me — How to find a certified specialist.
Clinical resources this page draws on
- APA Division 44 — Consensual Non-Monogamy Committee — American Psychological Association resources on polyamory and open relationships.
- AASECT — Find a certified sex therapist — Useful if you live outside the states our team serves.
Next step
Not sure where to start? Take the free 6-question assessment, or book a 15-minute consultation.